Adoption and mental health

“If you are an adoptive or foster parent, then you are in the right place. You may have googled us, because your child or teen is struggling with some mental health issues such as anxiety (i.e. social, academic, general, etc.), depression, PTSD, or self-harm. Some of these experiences may be related to the adoption. There is a saying, “We are only as happy as our saddest child.”  Parents cannot seem to be happy until their children are happy.  Adoptive parents may be waiting for the inevitable moment when they realize that pouring endless love into their child is not enough. They may find themselves holding their breath when their child is doing well and meeting all developmental milestones. Then, adolescence begins, which can be overwhelming for parents. What they have been waiting, for when they were holding their breath, has arrived. Parents too need support at this stage.

Here are some areas you may want to explore:

At Welsh Psychotherapy, we work with parents and kids to help them understand the mental health challenges that may originate from adoption. Adoptive parents can be very hard on themselves as they continue to try their best to have their kids be least affected by the adoption process. There is often a misconception that if they nurture and love their adopted children as perfectly as possible, then their child will not experience mental health issues related to the adoption process. Although you may have been wonderful parents, despite your best efforts, these issues may still develop.  Adoption trauma, attachment and identity issues, separation anxiety, social anxiety, and lacking a sense of belonging in their social group and family can all surface.   Adoption is often described as an event, but it is actually a process.  

During adolescence, these mental health issues come to the forefront.  It is a time of individuation. This stage may potentially trigger the early trauma that occurred when your child was separated at birth.  These issues may have always been there, but sometimes they lie dormant throughout the child’s early years. So, these challenges are often a surprise to parents, as they felt that things were going so smoothly.    It is most important to accept the challenges that your child is struggling with. Do not place blame on yourself or your child. Rather, find a therapist who can assist your family. Our adoption team wraps around the whole family. The child has a therapist, the parents have a parent support therapist, and everyone joins together with a family therapist. We unturn every stone to ensure that your child is moving toward healing, so they can go forward and lead a fulfilling life.”